I have had several inclinations over the past month that I might be pregnant (mostly dreams), but just got a final confirmation through a pregnancy test. After 2 ½ years my husband and I finally felt ready for round two and decided to open the doors to the possibility again last month. We were decently prepared. Per Ayurveda's suggestions, we both underwent a home panchakarma (cleanse) this spring. I was also taking several different prenatal supplements (refer to our previous blogs if you are curious) and eating well. I generally eat a chemical free, whole food diet, and try to steer clear of any preservatives or unneeded chemicals. Physically I was probably very ready.
However, the news still took me a bit by surprise emotionally. I am not sure the emotion that best describes how I have been feeling, probably a combination of excited, nervous, and even scared. Of course, I am excited about bringing another soul into the world. But right now I am also nervous about the uncertainty that it brings. Some of my thoughts from the week exemplify this. For example, this whole week I have been in that surreal state of thinking that at any moment those mucous secretions I’m feeling will actually be blood, and I will start my cycle. Rationally, I knew this probably wouldn't happen, especially given my sore boobs and constant need to pee, however the thoughts still played through in my head. Along with others such as, will everything be okay with the baby, did I prepare properly, were we ready?
A few pieces of advice from friends has again proved especially helpful. The first was from a dear friend and my acupuncturist during my first pregnancy in Austin, TX. She said that no matter how much a woman prepares or plans for pregnancy, the first three months are all about acceptance. We are welcoming a new child into the world, and I believe it takes a lot of emotional and physical shifting to really allow the changes to settle into us.
The second piece of advice was from my dear friend Sunny who reminded me, “it’s all about surrendering to the unknown.” I keep telling myself that is probably the single biggest action I can take at this point, to trust and surrender to what the unknown brings. I have a tendency to want to control, but this is something I can't control. I can take all the right supplements, and engage in the right lifestyle to the best of my ability, but after that I know that my work is to let go.
I'm really curious to hear about your experience. How did you feel when you first found out you were pregnant? More to come on diet and lifestyle piece, but I think before we make changes in our external environment we need some time to settle emotionally. (The most important immediate change to make, is to get on prenatal supplements if you haven’t done so already. If you are going with a prenatal specific supplement, we love Pure Synergy because it is the best we have found.)
With Love, Kerry